The Replacements Weirds Me Out
Cliche as hell, predictable as shit and cheesy as fuck. Who ever wrote the script for this movie either went to the same screenwriting class that every other sports movie writer went to, or owns a copy of the “Writing a Hollywood Sports Movie for Dummies : Vol 10″ book because we’ve all seen a [...]
Religulous
Just gotta start off saying that I’m not completely anti-religion and I’m not an atheist (I am however a weak agnostic), and I don’t engage in religious discussion because I don’t really care. I do have issues with fundamentalism, creationism, scientology and mormonism (everyone should) but have nothing against, and do not look down on [...]
Uwe Boll vs The World
During my random travels through the Interweb wasteland, I came across an image for a video game based movie called Far Cry and jokingly said to myself “Uwe Boll probably directed this”, so I check the IMDB and low and behold, the motherfucker did do it. So I click on his name to see what [...]
Role Models
Better than I thought it was going to be … the end. Seriously, I could just leave it at that but that wouldn’t be fair to the single person who will actually ever read this (I read your stuff too Megan Fox). But at the end of watching Role Models that was my major thought, [...]
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
On another one of my travels through the Interweb wasteland, I came upon a movie title that made me do a double take. I thought to myself “did I really just see that”, which is something that people have no right to be saying these days considering what can (or can’t) be downloaded (Tijuana donkeys [...]
Punisher : War Zone
Fuck, where do I start? Well, everything you’ve heard about Punisher War Zone is true, yep, its that bad and it massively pisses me off. I’m not mad because I lost 90 minutes of my life watching this, I’m pissed because it had so much potential, what a fucking waste. Punisher: War Zone is a [...]
The Foot Fist Way
WARNING : Do not under any circumstances watch The Foot Fist Way and expect that you’ll get the same experience you had watching Eastbound and Down. Trust me, it’ll ruin the movie for you. Don’t believe me? Fuck you then! Why would I lie? Go watch it and see who was right, dick (sorry, my [...]
The Wolverine Debacle
At least one Fox executive did not appear overly concerned about the leak. “People who are going to download and watch it on their computer were either never going to pay to see it anyway or they’re the type of super fan who was going to go 10 times in the first week,” he told [...]
Big Stan
Despite the fact that I find prison rape extremely funny, I’m not gay, wish all you want, its not gonna happen, but I am flattered. The reason I took the time to watch Big Stan, thus admitting that I actually viewed it on purpose, is that the idea of a dude scared of man-rape makes [...]
The Most Racist Movie Ever Made
I hate a lot of things, I don’t hate you though because you are reading my blog, obviously you’re extremely intelligent and you must shit awesomeness on a daily basis, hooray for you. But the top 2 things I can’t stand in life are drag queens (long story) and racism. To me racism makes no [...]
Ong Bak 2
Note : the following post is not about the 2005 Tony Jaa movie Tom Yum Goong which is incorrectly referred to as Ong Bak 2. Like a lot of people I was blown away by Tony Jaa in the original Ong Bak, although a little rough around the edges production wise (most notably the CGI [...]
Sex Drive : Unrated
It has to be said, at 29 years of age I am too old to be watching this kind of shit, sure I sometimes have the maturity of a 12 year old boy, but that’s not really an excuse to watch a teen sex romp comedy made in the last 5 years, so I don’t [...]
